Sunday, August 31, 2008

Pugetopolis Has Been Engaged in Deep Snark Research...

*
The Snark as a Visual: "Irony Marks"--Like, Does One REALLY Need Punctuation to Transmit a Snark????
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Notes On "Snark"

—for Susan Sontag


1. Snark is a noun—a combination of "snide" and "remark."
Sarcastic comment(s). Also snarky (adj.) and snarkily (adv.)
—Urban Dictionary

“His commentary was rife with snark.”

"Your boundless ineptitude is astounding," she snarkily declared.

“Not to be snarky, but I don't see how what you're saying makes any sense.”

"Oh, well, *that's* a good idea. How about we *all* follow *you* and jump off a cliff like lemmings?" she said snarkily.

UrbanDictionary.com


2. Many things in this world are snarky; and many things, even if they’re not snarky yet, will be snarky soon.

3. One of these is the sensibility—unmistakably postmodern, a variant of camp sophistication but hardly identical with it—going by the cult name of "Snark."

4. A sensibility is one of the hardest things to talk about; but there are special reasons why Snark, in particular, should be discussed now.

5. What is Snark?

6. Sometimes Snark or Snarkism is basically defined as someone who is suffering from a bad case of snarkiness: “Woah, bitch, don’t give me none of that snarkism.”

7. Sometimes Snark is defined as mode of masturbation—like “Snarkabratory.” Which is commenting on a topic, item or situation in a gratuitously snarky, scabrous semi-crapulous and peurile manner. Sometimes in a vain attempt to appear relevant to someone under-25. Usually associated with outpourings from semi-literate "urban kultcha kritic" magazine journo's: "MTV is the same age as Justin Timberlake. To progress from that in the usual snarkabratory way is to say TV producers have even less talent than a e-tard flamed on bang".

8. Sometimes Snark is defined as “Snarkalicious”—a really good snide remark at someone like “Wow, that talk show host is really snarkalicious with paris.” Or groovy in her own right, Snarkalicious is a person on a mission. “Your mission—cure all constipated children and giving shaving advice. You will leap tall buildings and shoot people down with the immense power of sarcasm.” Snarkalicious is a powerful entity; however, Snarkalicious (or Snark abbreviated) can also be a gentle soul: “Groovy Snarkalicious Puget is sitting on his couch eating Cheetos and farting along with the Wiggles.”

9. Sometimes Snark is something not to do as in “Snarkbait”—something which someone says is bait for a snarky response or lecture. “I wouldn't say that again. What you just said was pure snarkbait.”

10. Sometimes Snark implies bigger Blogosphere boogers: like “Snarkfest” meaning feasting on the words or comments within a Blog by others in the Blogosphere such as when a news item or story, placed by another to snare another logger into smearing the discussed article as fallacious, and then attacking the Blogger as a liar.

11. A form of Snark is “Snarkblogging”—to write blog entries with a high level of snark. Sometimes it can be considered mean, but snarkblogging sometimes is funny, insightful and interesting. “Dude, I so snarkblogged the Zuckerberg interview.” ”I cant believe that company thought that was a press release. I am going to snarkblog this tomorrow.” ”Did you read that snarkblog? They nailed Steve Jobs perfectly, and it was so funny.”

12. Sometimes Snark can verge on “Snarkasm”—especially snide or belittling sarcasm, often directed at a person to their face. Alternately: Snarcasm. While the comment, about a third person, "Yeah, that's really going to work," is just conventional sarcasm, the same comment, directed at the person will exaggerated inflection, "Yeah, that's REALLY going to WORK," slips into snarkasm.

13. Snark often shows up as “Snarkhole”—a snarky asshole; an annoying, sarcastic, self-superior, person. “I read about it from the snarkholes at the Poetry Forum.”

14. Snark has happened to me. Even I have been called a “Snarklette”—an attention whore who posts too many poems & postings. Puget is such a freaking snarklette. No wonder everyone hates him and his toupee.”

15. In terms of the web there’s the “Snarkpit”—referring to possibly the greatest website ever made, for mappers and anyone else whoes bothered. "Did you see that new ultra leet feature of snarkpit.com the other day?"

16. Personally I prefer the word “Snarky” since the word is me: a witty mannerism, personality, or behavior that is a combination of sarcasm and cynicism. Usually accepted as a complimentary term. Snark is sometimes mistaken for a snotty or arrogant attitude. “His snarky remarks had half the room on the floor laughing and the other half ready to walk out.”

(to be continued…)

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Saturday, August 30, 2008

Pugetopolis, Snarkmeister in Poetic Motion, Snarks in on Sarah Palin

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Poughkeepsie Postmodernism
—for John McCain & Sarah Palin

“Ever pick your feet in Poughkeepsie?”

—Gene “Popeye” Hackman,
The French Connection (1971)

Poughkeepsie rules—
GOP Postmodernism!!!
POMO pigs of the Oink!!!
Snark me baby!!!

Nothing’s more snarky—
than Intelligent Design.
It’s a hoity-toity version
of being a Bible Belt Bigot.

It’s a kitschy version of—
being Born Again Christian.
A smarmy way to get votes
But then Republicans have
No shame do they?

Putting a woman on the
Ticket—an Intelligent Design
Queen Bee—it’s so Lame.
Talk about Hollywood redux
And Elmer Gantry shame.

Pushing all the same old
Cynical Elephant buttons—
Pulling out the last gasps
Of Red State Rubes and
Milking the cash-cow dry.

Sarah Palin is Creationist—
She’s anti-choice and anti-
Abortionist plus she leads
Rabid Feminists for Life…

Sarah “Barracuda” Palin—
Known for her intense
Highschool basketball play
Is an Alaskan cold fish.

She hunts, she fishes—
She poses for Vogue
And Outdoor Life with
Dead deer and caribou…

She’s good with a gun—
Not very pro-life as far
As animals are concerned
But she won’t shoot fetus.

Sarah Palin is no angel—
No Geraldine Ferraro but
Then John McCain needs
His Vampire Maverick fix…

Going for the disgruntled
Hillary Clinton votes but
Then it’s a day late and a
Dollar short, as usual…

Poughkeepsie rules—
GOP Postmodernism!!!
POMO pigs of the Oink!!!
Snark me baby!!!

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Copyright 2008, Pugetopolis.

Posted with permission from poet.


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"Ever Pick Your Feet in Poughkeepsie?" From The French Connection



seanseven777
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*

The Snarkster Fears the Women's Movement AND The Economy Have Just Flashed Back 100 Years...

*


Who is Sarah Palin? Here's some basic background:

  • She was elected Alaska's governor a little over a year and a half ago. Her previous office was mayor of Wasilla, a small town outside Anchorage. She has no foreign policy experience.

  • Palin is strongly anti-choice, opposing abortion even in the case of rape or incest.


  • She supported right-wing extremist Pat Buchanan for president in 2000.


  • Palin thinks creationism should be taught in public schools.


  • She doesn't think humans are the cause of climate change.


  • She's solidly in line with John McCain's "Big Oil first" energy policy. She's pushed hard for more oil drilling and says renewables won't be ready for years. She also sued the Bush administration for listing polar bears as an endangered species—she was worried it would interfere with more oil drilling in Alaska.
How closely did John McCain vet this choice? He met Sarah Palin once at a meeting. They spoke a second time, last Sunday, when he called her about being vice-president. Then he offered her the position.

From a MoveOn.org email


This is a joke, a huge "gotcha," right?

The Snarkster hopes so.

Also be aware that someone close to Sarah Palin may have been tampering with her Wikipedia article.

More


__________________________________________________________
What Happens When You Put a Beauty Queen in Front of a Microphone



theohreallyfactororg
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Friday, August 29, 2008

Meet NRA Glamor Girl, Gun Totin' GOP Veep Candidate Sarah Palin...

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Alaska Governor and John McCain Running Mate Sarah Palin and Friends
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"Happiness is a Warm Gun," The Beatles



josueharrison

_____________________________________________________________________


Let's Get Literary Or Emily Dickinson (1830-1836) Weighs in From the Afterlife 'cos, Gosh Darn, This Loaded Gun Poem FITS!

My Life had stood -- a Loaded Gun --
In Corners -- till a Day
The Owner passed -- identified --
And carried Me away --

And now We roam in Sovereign Woods --
And now We hunt the Doe --
And every time I speak for Him --
The Mountains straight reply --

And do I smile, such cordial light
Upon the Valley glow --
It is as a Vesuvian face
Had let its pleasure through --

And when at Night -- Our good Day done --
I guard My Master's Head --
'Tis better than the Eider-Duck's
Deep Pillow -- to have shared --

To foe of His -- I'm deadly foe --
None stir the second time --
On whom I lay a Yellow Eye --
Or an emphatic Thumb --

Though I than He -- may longer live
He longer must -- than I --
For I have but the power to kill,
Without -- the power to die --

Watch Snark.me For A Brand-new Modern Poem Dedicated to Gov. Palin!!!

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PaulFVillarreal
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Lurple says,

KTUU news piece by Bill McAllister on bloggers and the Sarah Palin for VP movement. Interview with Les Kinsolving, Steve Maloney, Fred Barnes, and Sarah Palin. Air date 8-24-07

_____________________________________________________________________


The Snarkster hopes she's a better shot than our current veep.

*

Tuesday, August 26, 2008

This Just In: As Hillary Speaks at the DNC Convention, The Onion Reveals a Serious Election Leak...

*


Diebold Accidentally Leaks Results Of 2008 Election Early


_______________________________________________________________


Diebold ought to be held responsible for this irresponsible leak. What good is the election process if the people responsible for fixing the election release the results ahead of time?

Where is the love? Where is the joy?

Oh, the humanity...

_______________________________________________________________




funkyvice

_______________________________________________________________


Please, no insensitivity snark back at TS.

Best sound byte from Hillary's speech: "The Sisterhood of the Traveling Pantsuits."

The Snarkster saw Hillary back in May, and, yes, she was wearing the traveling Pantsuit.


Earlier Tonight (8/26/2008): Hillary in a Practice Traveling Pantsuit
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CSPANJUNKIEdotORG
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Canary Yellow Polyester in Motion

*

A Millennium Ago, The Snarkster Dumped "Alliterate Dot.com: Dumpster Diva" on the Extremely Picky (Snort!) Poetry[dot]com


And it's still there! but if they take it down, it will be immortalized here forever! Here, for your reading pleasure...

* * * * *

Time goes by

Wild roses above the beach

Howl, howl, I howl at the moon

The breath of the ocean

The puppies gamboled through the minefield

Watch it fly

____________________________________________________________



murtijung
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Summer, rose hips fall

The blood gushes down

Touch my cheek

The new redneck poets ate barbecue

____________________________________________________________



nimrodcrappie
_____________________________________________________________________


Time goes by

Fall, snow, snow

Howl down the moon

And it made me cry


Regalia makes the king happy [NOT!]

Night is nigh

I think I need a cigarette

Because I thought of you next to me

That was no lady, that was my car

Oh, how I long for that again.

* * * * *


Actually, The Snarkster isn't entirely responsible for this masterpiece; this gem was a joint effort at a poetry workshop demonstrating how easy it is getting a poem on Poetry[dot]com--and, evidently, keeping it there.

Now for the climax of this post....

[Drum Roll...]

____________________________________________________________

The Master Percy Dovetonsils (Ernie Kovacs) Reads Poetry



hugosleestak says,

Kovacs was a pioneer of TV comedy in the 1950's, edging closer, I think, to performance art than what people typically think of as comedy. Even with Percy Dovetonsils the comedy is odd, low key, and character generated, even though there is a poetic punch line toward the end.
____________________________________________________________

*

Saturday, August 23, 2008

The Snarkster Sorta Waited for the Lizard King, But Then He Up and Died...Well, Maybe...

*
Jim Morrison's Mug Shot, sometime in 1969
__________________________________________________________________


A few months ago, TS received an email from "Dennis," who insisted that Jim Morrison is alive and well and living in Oregon as a cowboy. He gave an email address that took TS to a page that sells western wear (?). This URL will not be revealed here because of pop-ups and other funky stuff. But if you're persistent, Google and you shall find.

Morrison as a cowboy? Somehow, it doesn't quite fit the Lizard King rockstar persona.

Yes, The Legend is dead, TS fears.

Ladies, go home. Go back to your balding and pot-bellied boomer husbands; even if God Morrison were still alive, he, too, would exhibit the ravages of age.

But if you want to believe, this YouTube Video is a MUST SEE:
___________________________________________________________________

Jim Morrison is Alive and Well and Living in Oregon!!!!!



rodeoswest says,

Jim is raising horses in the Pacific Northwest. Jim Morrison's agent and producer Gerald Pitts has exclusive rights to Jim's images in still, motion, and likeness and audio. RodeosWest.com.
___________________________________________________________________

[Shake head here and heed The GodStar's message:]

___________________________________________________________________

"The End" (The Doors)



Randharc
___________________________________________________________________
*

Friday, August 22, 2008

The Snarkster is Getting Downright Scary: Remember "How I Learned to Stop Worrying and Love the Bomb"? No?

*
Well, TS does...



1916dc

*the Pablo Ferro trailer for Kubrick's masterpiece:

[below excerpt from typotheque.com]

"After seeing Ferro's commercials, Kubrick hired him to direct the advertising trailers and teasers for Dr. Strangelove and convinced him to resettle in London (Kubrick's base of operations until he died there in March 1999). Ferro was inclined to be peripatetic anyway, and ever anxious to bypass already completed challenges he agreed to pull up stakes on the chance that he would get to direct a few British TV commercials, which he did.

The black and white spot that Ferro designed for Dr. Strangelove employed his quick-cut technique - using as many as 125 separate images in a minute - to convey both the dark humor and the political immediacy of the film. At something akin to stroboscopic speed words and images flew across the screen to the accompaniment of loud sound effects and snippets of ironic dialog.

At a time when the bomb loomed so large in the US public's fears (remember Barry Goldwater ran for President promising to nuke China), and the polarization of left and right - east and west - was at its zenith, Ferro's commercial was not only the boldest and most hypnotic graphic on TV, it was a sly subversive statement.

Dr. Strangelove was key to Ferro's eventual shift from TV to film. And working with Kubrick was the best possible introduction to the movie industry since this relationship bypassed the stultifying Hollywood bureaucracy. Ferro was free to generate ideas and Kubrick was self-confident enough to accept (and sometimes refine) them."

link to full article

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1964. Two films released about the same time: Dr. Strangelove (a comedy) and Fail Safe (a drama). Both films follow a parallel plot: U.S. bombers are accidentally released and now heading for Moscow with their deadly cargo. Can our President stop the carnage?

One film ended up being a wildly popular hit, and the other tanked. Can you guess which one flopped like a fish????

Here are some hints:

___________________________________________________________________________

Ending of Fail Safe (Spoiler Alert!)



FatherMcKenize

___________________________________________________________________________

The Ending of Dr. Strangelove (Spoiler Alert!)



endiminion
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*

The Snarkster is Puzzled as to Why John McCain's Adsters Would Put a Video Ad on THIS Page...

*


Memo to John McCain:

Does this look like a site that would support your campaign?

________________________________________________________________



tmptv
________________________________________________________________

Unfortunately, The Snarkster fears that Barack Obama has just handed the presidency to his opponent by selecting Joe Biden as his VP running mate.

Now TS has nothing against Mr. Biden, but he just doesn't add much to the ticket.

It's too bad that Senator Obama has allowed a personal vendetta to interfere in the creation of a blockbuster ticket with Hillary Clinton. Like JFK back in 1960, BHO, for the sake of the presidency, should have just sucked it up and asked HRC on board.

He still has TS's vote, but one fears that TS represents a significant minority.
________________________________________________________________
*

Insensitive? Damn Right...The Snarkster Was There Once, The Institution of White Coats and Basket Weaving...

*
_____________________________________________________

They're Coming to Take Me Away, HA HA.... (Napoleon XIV)




grongle


Music video for the 1966 hit song "They're Coming to Take Me Away, Ha-Haaa" by Napoleon XIV (Jerry Samuels).

The video depicts the effect on the mental health of an individual after the break-up of his relationship. The main character addresses his ex-girlfriend and describes his descent into madness after she has left him. He has become so disturbed that he no longer obeys the normal laws of physics. He believes he is being pursued by men in white coats who are coming to take him away and welcomes them as an end to his misery. Anyone who has gone through a painful breakup and suffered resulting mental anguish can relate to this.. Thanks to all who helped. Enjoy!
___________________________________________________________

Uh, actually, the song is about the singer's lost dog that took off and left him flat for...another dog?

Girl squeeze on the lam, dirty doggy antics, what's the difference?

Still, the video is pretty funny, even though it deals in stereotypes of straitjackets, babbling, wild-eyed looks, and shaggy beards.

The Snarkster has personal experience in the white coat area, but TS doesn't take all this silliness personally.

Besides, Wild Man Fischer DOES seem to fit the stereotype, though TS (who met WMF back in the day) suspects it was all an elaborate act to help Frank Zappa sell records.
_______________________________________________________

"The Circle" (Wild Man Fischer): An Evening with Wild Man Fischer





hleaf
__________________________________________________________

This album is from the late 1960's; WMF's career was sponsored by the late Frank Zappa.

The woman pictured with the wild man on the album cover is his mother; according to rumor the two were very close, and she was his biggest fan.

A secret: WMF once asked The Snarkster out; TS, just 18 at the time and already in a relationship, passed.

Besides, TS was holding out for Jim Morrison.
___________________________________________________________
*

Thursday, August 21, 2008

The Snarkster Just LOVES the Terrible Beauty of Mushroom Clouds...

*
...In fact, The Snarkster's fascination borders on the obsessive; what's more, TS is horribly proud of creating this photo via Adobe manipulation...

Socorro, Nevada Test Site, October 22, 1958 (manipulated photograph)
_____________________________________________________________________


...from this public domain government photograph.

Socorro, Nevada Test Site, October 22, 1958
_____________________________________________________________________


Why are humans so drawn to danger? Why do we like to watch nuclear blasts?

Maybe it's a cold war baby thing. Now for your amusement...

_____________________________________________________________________

Sammy Salvo - "A Mushroom Cloud" (1961)



_____________________________________________________________________
*

Wednesday, August 20, 2008

Please Don't WIPO The Snarkster! TS Will NEVER Manufacture and Sell Sailboats on This Site...

*
Snark Sailboat (Photo Released into the Public Domain by Its Copyright Holder )
_________________________________________________________________


So if you're looking to buy a Snark Sailboat, please click here.

Consider this a freebie ad.

From Wikipedia:

The Snark is a lightweight lateen rigged sailboat. The early Snarks had hulls made of expanded polystyrene (EPS is most commonly known by the tradename Styrofoam). Later versions have an EPS hull clad inside and out with a layer of ABS. At fifty pounds, eleven feet long with a thirty-eight inch beam, these boats are easy to transport, easy to sail, and unsinkable, a good choice for a beginner or day sailing.

Early Snark sailboats could be purchased with product coupons. For example, a large number of Kool cigarette coupons could be redeemed for a Snark with the Kool logo on the sail. Kool also made the Snark available for $99.
Lovely product, by the way (and, no, I'm not sucking up), though the cigarette premium deal is weird beyond words.

;=)
________________________________________________________________

I Want a Snark! A Snark Sailboat in Action (Though I'd Definitely Get Out of the Thunderstorm)



Floydwebtube says,

I bought an old 12' Snark Sunchaser II sailboat. My first sailboat! She's in great shape and I got her for a great price! The boats name on the transom is "Euphoria". I like it... I think I'll keep it. Here's her maiden voyage with my trusty crew!
I assume Floydwebtube is still alive, given he's posting on YouTube.
*

Tuesday, August 19, 2008

John McCain: Jumping the Snark? Celebrity is as Celebrity Does, and The Snarkster Doesn't Care All That Much for Fame Anyway...

*
Who's the Celeb Now?



GottaLaff
________________________________________________________________________

Mr. McCain, play nice in the political sandbox. You'd better be careful who you call a celebrity--sticks and stones will make me groan, and is "celebrity" really such a dirty word?. 'Sides, it looks as though you have embraced the popular culture more than your charismatic opponent, who is popular just because he breathes.

You see, you have to work at being a celebrity by getting yourself booked on dubious TV shows and movies. Wedding Crashers? SNL? For real?

For better or worse, the people who support Barack Obama have created his popularity and celebrity because he speaks for them, not special interest Republicans.

If you're going to go after Obama, do it on the issues, not on some Paris Hilton-esque premise of popularity.

In fact, you might consider adding Ms. Hilton as your running mate and even Britney Spears (now apparently rehabbed) as your Attorney General--add some eye candy to the political landscape.

Paris' energy plan sounds pretty good, even if she's just a puppet for an Obama for President group.

We know what it's like dealing with Puppet Regimes, having done so for the past seven (long) years.

The Heart-breakingly Lovely Phillipa Fallon (1958), a McCain Peeress?
___________________________________________________________________

Or see this post with Phillipa Fallon, the 1958 beat poetess who appeared in the campy High School Confidential.

She's about your age, no? And I'll bet she's still hot, hot, hot.

Nonetheless, that smoky 50's voice will win the hearts of America and instill a sense of fear into despot dictators, especially that pesky Osama bin Laden.



________________________________________________________________________

Here's McCain's plan for withdrawal from Iraq:



benisontenet

Saturday, August 16, 2008

The Snarkster Saw This Movie as a Youngster (Which Might Explain a Few Things)...

...Now you can see the whole movie on YouTube. In Seven Parts.

But here you'll have to settle for the trailer because TS is about 99.99% certain that this flick is NOT in the public domain.

_______________________________________________________________________

A Bucket of Blood Trailer



fraserw2
_______________________________________________________________________

A young nerdy waiter who works at a beat cafe envies the talents of his various artistic customers and tormentors and tries his hand at sculpting, but, alas, he has no talent, just the yearning for fame and riches.

What a loser!

After he accidentally kills his landlady's cat, he has a flash of inspiration: he could mold the sculpting clay around the dead creature! Why not? He didn't mean to kill the poor kitty! Maybe some good can come of this tragic death.

His first sculpture is a rousing success, and his former tormentors are amazed.

Suddenly, he's hot, hot, hot, and he must keep "creating," and animals are no longer cutting it! He makes an important decision and this formerly sweet nebbish turns cold-blooded killer.

A must-see for those who have morphed Plan 9 From Outer Space into cult film status.

*


The lovely Poetess Phillipa Fallon
_____________________________________________________________________


But if gore

Isn't your score

Then try

Some teen beat poetry:
_______________________________________________________________________



YoungHellion says,

A great clip from the 1958 teen B movie High School Confidential. This clip features Phillipa Fallon as a beat poetess. That's Uncle Fester, AKA Jackie Coogan, on piano behind her. Turn your eyes inside and dig the vacuum. Tomorrow... drag xoxo

_______________________________________________________________________

"High School Drag"

(From High School Confidential)

MGM 12661 released 6/58

(Welles/Glasser)

Performed by Phillipa Fallon


My old man was a bread stasher all his life.
He never got fat. He wound up with a used car,
a 17 inch screen and arthritis.

Tomorrow is a drag, man.
Tomorrow is a king sized bust.

They cried 'put down pot,' 'don’t think a lot,' for what?
Time, how much? And what to do with it.

Sleep, man, and you might wake up digging the whole
human race giving itself three days to get out.

Tomorrow is a drag, pops, the future is a flake.

I had a canary who couldn’t sing.
I had a cat who let me share my pad with her.
I bought a dog that killed the cat who ate the canary.
What is truth?

I had an uncle with an ivy league card.
He had a life with a belt in the back.
He had a button-down brain.
Wind up a belt in the mouth with a button-down lip.

We cough blood on this earth.
Now there’s a race for space.
We can cough blood on the moon soon.

Tomorrow's dragsville, cats.
Tomorrow is a king size drag.

Tool a fast shore, swing with a gassy chick.
Turn on to a thousand joys.
Smile on what happened, or check what’s going to happen,
You’ll miss what’s happening.
Turn your eyes inside and dig the vacuum.

Tomorrow, DRAG.
*

Vote Different: The Snarkster's Pick for Best Presidential Political Commercial of the 2008 Campaign

*


ParkRidge47
_________________________________________________________________________

The Snarkster is old enough to remember 1984 when it was still in the future, so this video spot really sent a chill down TS's spine.

Being an overall bookish sort--that is, before the popular culture took over the immortal soul--TS also read Orwell's 1984.

Do you think Hillary lost delegates because of this spot?

TS wonders...

__________________________________________________________________________

Friday, August 15, 2008

Rielle Hunter--FOUND! (Not): A Damn Good Spoof Interview with John Edward's Squeeze, But Then...

*
The Actor Playing Hunter Gets All Mushy About Elizabeth and RUINS It!!!!

_________________________________________________________________________



sharonafox1 says,

Latest interview with John Edwards' mistress, Reille Hunter about sex scandal affair, Love child and Reille's opinion of Elizabeth Edwards.

Reille Hunter stops to even lower depths when she shares her thoughts about Elizabeth Edwards.

The Elizabeth Edwards that she describes as lacking good energy and warmth bears no resemblance to the Elizabeth Edwards I had the great fortune to meet.

The Elizabeth Edwards I met was open hearted, kind thoughtful and eager to embrace a room full of over 500 strangers in my community who came out to hear her speak during one of her book signings.

Elizabeth was downhome and welcoming.

My prayers go out to her, her family and all those who are being affected by this sad situation.

Good Bless and hope that the Edwards family is able to welcome forgiveness, trust and love back into their circle.

Amen
How can a spoof be both funny and smarmy?

The Snarkster just read "What Rielle Hunter Told Me," a Newsweek article by Jonathan Darman (August 18-25, 2008), and this spoof is DEAD ON!

Seriously, though. One cannot help but feel sorry for Elizabeth Edwards.

All The Snarkster can do is shake her head, and like an old woman, lament the state of the world...

_________________________________________________________________________ *

The Snarkster LOVES Barack Obama, But He Doesn't Get a Free Pass Either (And He'd Better Behave...)

*


wickedawesomefilms

__________________________________________________________________

Don't take your cue

From busted ballsy Johnny--

Keep those family jewels,

Well, within the family.

Lest sweet Michelle

Take aim for the 8-ball

Breaking those lovely gems

Away from Inauguration Day.

__________________________________________________________________
*

The Snarkster is a College Professor, and College Professors Watch YouTube Too!

*
HA, HA, HA, HA, HA, HA, HA!!!!!

The Snarkster is on to you and will check every drink bottle that passes through the door of his/her classroom on test days.
____________________________________________________



http://www.householdhacker.com

As an homage to some of our favorite tricks, heres an old one that has been around for ages but some of you may not be aware of.

In this video we show you how to utilize modern technology to always have your notes in plain view.

We will do this by taking a common object that no one will think twice about and altering it to fit our needs.

Disclaimer:

As with this experiment and all other HouseHold Hacker videos. We cannot be held responsible for damage or mistakes made if attempting the experiments. These projects are for demonstration purposes only and should not be attempted at home.
Idiot household hacker:

It's "HERE'S," not "heres."

If you spent as much time working on your grammar and punctuation as you did devising methods to cheat, then you wouldn't have to cheat.

God, you are SO ridiculous, and The Snarkster loves slamming fools like you.

_________________________________________________________
*

Power Up Your iPod with an Onion Soaked in Gatorade?



Website: http://householdhacker.com

In this episode we show you how to charge your iPod (or other mp3 player) for up to 20 minutes using electrolytes derived from Gatorade or Powerade which are then stored within the cells of an onion.

You will need:

1. 1 White onion
2. 2 cups of Gatorade
3. Screwdriver
4. iPod and USB cable

Music by: Casino Vs Japan

Disclaimer:

As with this experiment and all other HouseHold Hacker videos. We cannot be held responsible for damage or mistakes made if attempting the experiments. These projects are for demonstration purposes only and should not be attempted at home.
Category: Howto & Style
Tags: charge ipod with electrolytes and onion howto hacks hack tech house hold household hacker

_____________________________________________________________________________

The Snarkster does not own an iPod--yeah, sooooo lame--but TS suggests not doing this experiment on your precious geegaw. Unless you are rich, in which case, you can buy another one. Otherwise, you're an idiot.

TS wonders what the Wii headtracking guy would think?

Wednesday, August 13, 2008

Meet The Baby! (The Baby Speaks in Her Father's (?) Voice)

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The Baby Speaks Out! Frances Quinn Hunter (Edwards?)



TheNoseOnYourFace says,
Some exclusive footage that shows some uncanny similarities between the ex-Senator and his alleged baby.
She looks a bit tough, I must say. The old man had better not cross her.
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Eat Your Heart Out, MTV: These Guys INVENTED the Music Video ;=)

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"Can't Buy Me Love," from A Hard Day's Night (The Beatles)



Weddle
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Hey, YouTube! You're scary. How did you know that The Snarkster would absolutely melt at the sight of the Four Lads From Liverpool?

Big Tubester is Watching You!

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Tuesday, August 12, 2008

The Chinese are Fakin' it Again: Little Miss Lip-Syncher?

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MediaEducator says,

An example of the lengths Beijing has taken to project a perfect image for China during the Olympics. [Yang Peiyi], a 7-year-old girl, was replaced [by Lin Miaoke, 9] after officials deemed her face was "not suitable" for the opening ceremony.

Instead, the older girl with a perfect smile lip-synced the words to "Ode to the Motherland," which had been recorded by the younger youngster.
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AAAWWWWW....

Okay, so The Snarkster is a sucker for a cute little singing girl story.

Unfortunately, the cute little girl was lip syncing, while another little girl, hidden away from the eyes of the camera (and the world) was behind the scenes because she was deemed to be too "unattractive."

Quite frankly, TS feels that little Yang Peiyi, the real singer, was as cute as a button, snaggly teeth and round face notwithstanding.

What TS finds "ugly" is the Chinese lack of human rights, repression, and a total disregard for the environment, which affects the entire world, not just their borders.

So who's "ugly" now?
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Jib Jab: Lest We Forget

*To all you Republican (and otherwise) weiners, you should have listened...



JibJab says,
President George W. Bush and Senator John Kerry star in the political animation parody that started it all -- this funny video was seen on every continent (including Antarctica), it even played on the International Space Station!
Hmmmm.

How are our lives better since 2004?
--A continuation and escalation of an ugly war.

--An unstable stock market.

--Higher gas and food prices.
Please pass the ketchup.

Gotta keep posting until Kama Sutra disappears off the page.

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Monday, August 11, 2008

Why is War Sooooo Funny? (But It Is)

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Weird Al Yankovitch Sings Bomb Iraq



RKandJK

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and
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The Merry Minuet (The Kingston Trio)



DaraghPhelan
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A Tribute to John Edward's Love Child

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Michael Jackson Before He was White...



osamaobamayomomma
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I'll do anything to make Kama Sutra sink to the bottom...

What's with all these Johns, anyway?
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Jib Jab--Dancing with the Politicos: The Disco Queen and King

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Okay, so the King eventually rose to the top...



JibJab says,
Barack Obama and Hillary Clinton do the disco! Check out "Starring You!" @ JibJab.com to star in a JibJab movie.
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And to think it all started with Isaac Hayes (1942-2008), who died in the vicinity of his treadmill.

(And The Snarkster knew that there was a good reason to avoid exercise.)

Is Kama Sutra gone yet?
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Jib Jab: It's Time for Some Compaignin'

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No Introduction or Comment Needed, and Besides, I Needed to Knock Kama Sutra Off Its Leading Position...



JibJab
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Finally! "Snark.me" Can Now be Defined as a Hack Domain Name!

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Artistic depiction of a sex position. Although Kama Sutra did not originally have illustrative images, part 2 of the work describes different sex positions.
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The Snarkster finally found a verb definition of "snark":

1. to have playful, fun sex (intransitive verb).

2. to pleasure one's partner in bed (transitive verb). Examples:

We snarked all afternoon.

We snarked each other until we were too tired to move.
Thanks to the Urban Dictionary.

Who knew?

And to think TS nearly passed on registering Snark.me.

Are we rich yet?

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The Chatterley Affair: Snarking on Trial



Jlinck says,

From the BBC, The Chatterley Affair is a passionate love story set in the context of the most famous obscenity trial in publishing history

Was it a book with literary merit or mere smut? That was the question put before a British jury in 1960 about D.H. Lawrence's Lady Chatterley's Lover. The trial made headlines around the world, especially since the prosecutor quoted liberally from the book's explicit content while making his argument. Emmy® and BAFTA--winning screenwriter Andrew Davies imagines the effect the trial might have had on two jurors, a man and a woman who were emotionally vulnerable, sexually unfulfilled, and strongly attracted to one another.

Available on DVD at acornonline.com.
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Sunday, August 10, 2008

Isaac Hayes (1942-2008): Damn Right!

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Issac Hayes, "Shaft"



lastangelman
Isaac Lee Hayes, Jr. (August 20, 1942 -- August 10, 2008) was an American soul and funk singer-songwriter, musician, record producer, arranger, composer and actor. Hayes was one of the main creative forces behind southern soul music label Stax Records, where he served as both an in-house songwriter and producer with partner David Porter during the mid-1960s. In the late 1960s, Hayes became a recording artist, and recorded successful soul albums such as Hot Buttered Soul (1969) and Black Moses (1971) as the Stax label's premier artist.
More
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In Beijing: It's Not Easy Being Green

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Beijing on a clear and smoggy day
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Kermit commiserates...



james220190
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Saturday, August 9, 2008

The Northrop SM-62 Snark

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Snark Missile Launch (Public Domain Photo)
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The Northrop SM-62 Snark was a specialized intercontinental cruise missile with a nuclear warhead briefly operated by the US Strategic Air Command from 1958 until 1961. It takes its name from Lewis Carroll's snark, a very ambitious fictional monster with very little sense of humor.

Design and development

The Snark was developed to offer a nuclear threat to the Soviet Union at a time when ICBMs were still in development. Work on the project had begun in 1946. Initially there were two missiles - a subsonic design (the MX775A Snark) and a supersonic design (the MX775B Boojum). Budget reductions threatened the project in its first year but the personal intervention of Jack Northrop and Carl Spaatz saved the project. Despite this funding was low and the program was dogged by requirement changes. The expected due date of 1953 passed with the design still in testing and SAC was becoming less enthusiastic. In 1955, Eisenhower ordered top priority to the ICBM and associated missile programs.

Despite considerable difficulties with the missile and military reservations toward it, work continued. In 1957 tests the missile had an average CEP of 17 nautical miles (31.5 km) and the most accurate test of 1958 fell 4 nautical miles (7.4 km) short. The design was also notoriously unreliable with the majority of test missiles suffering mechanical failure thousands of miles before reaching the target area. The reduced operating altitude, from 150,000 to 55,000 ft (46 to 17 km), and the inability of the missile to undertake evasive manoeuvres were also cited against it.

Technical description

Basically an unmanned aircraft, the jet engined 20.5 m long device had a top speed of 650 mph (1,046 km/h) and a maximum range of 5,500 nautical miles (10,200 km). The complex stellar navigation guidance system gave a claimed CEP of 8,000 ft (2.4 km).

The Snark was an air-breathing design, launched from a light platform by two rocket booster engines. It would switch to an internal jet engine for the remainder of its flight. The jet was a Pratt and Whitney J57, the first 10,000 lbf (44 kN) thrust design, also used in the early B-52 and the F-100. Lacking a horizontal tail, the missile used elevons as its primary flight control surfaces, and flew an unusual nose high aspect during level flight. During the final phase of flight the nuclear warhead would detach and follow a ballistic trajectory to the target. The missile itself would become unflyable and crash as soon as the warhead detached.

One of the more advanced features of the Snark was its ability to fly missions of up to 11 hours and return for a landing. If the Snark did not detach its warhead, the missile itself could be flown repeatedly. Lacking landing gear, it was necessary for the Snark to skid to a landing on a flat, level surface.

More Technical Stuff from Wikipedia

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The Snark, A Magnificent Failure: "Jackpot. This video should *prove* nothing, but it speaks volumes. It yells." --amaraca (comment on YouTube)



keyhole911

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Jabberwocky (Lewis Carroll, 1832-1898)

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The Jabberwock, as illustrated by John Tenniel.
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Even if Lewis Carroll had been a suspected perv, The Snarkster owes him a HUGE debt; without his beloved Snark, TS would be nothing...

Therefore, here is LC's most famous nonsense poem:
'Twas brillig, and the slithy toves
Did gyre and gimble in the wabe:
All mimsy were the borogoves,
And the mome raths outgrabe.

"Beware the Jabberwock, my son!
The jaws that bite, the claws that catch!
Beware the Jubjub bird, and shun
The frumious Bandersnatch!"

He took his vorpal sword in hand:
Long time the manxome foe he sought --
So rested he by the Tumtum tree,
And stood awhile in thought

And as in uffish thought he stood,
The Jabberwock, with eyes of flame,
Came whiffling through the tulgey wood,
And burbled as it came!

One, two! One, two! and through and through
The vorpal blade went snicker-snack!
He left it dead, and with its head
He went galumphing back.

"And hast thou slain the Jabberwock?
Come to my arms, my beamish boy!
O frabjous day! Callooh! Callay!"
He chortled in his joy.

'Twas brillig, and the slithy toves
Did gyre and gimble in the wabe:
All mimsy were the borogoves,
And the mome raths outgrabe.

--Through the Looking Glass, 1871




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And for your enhanced entertainment: Puppets Perform Jabberwocky



vibefat
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The Snarkster Kinda Likes These Guys and Decided to Subscribe and Paris Who Never Seems to Go Away...

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This Week in YouTube



mahalodotcom says,

Today on This Week in YouTube, Lon Harris and Leah D'Emilio present the show that doesn't wear black masks, even though it's shot in Beijing. First up is a clip revealing a dreadful conspiracy spreading rainbows across the nation, an unreleased project by Joss Whedon, and an attack ad by John McCain. Paris Hilton fires back immediately, and as a result, McCain's head explodes. Wrapping up this week in YouTube is a clip from 1920s Dark Knight, a Heavy Metal Monk, and The Pharcyde's first video since they reunited. That's This Week in YouTube, which we watch so you don't have to.

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The Snarkster's Profile and The Hunting of the Snark on YouTube! What Would Lewis Carroll Think?

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The Snarkster's Snark.me Persona
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The Snarkster's real ID is no big secret or even a big deal.

So get over it, and just have fun.

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The Hunting of the Snark on YouTube! In Song!



tenunderscores

"The Hunting Of The Snark" from Mike Batt's musical of the the same name, featuring Billy Connolly among many other star names.
You can read the real deal here.
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Has Paris Found a Brain? If So...

*
...Then this astounding discovery is bigger than John Edward's head! YouTube deems the following video as being inappropriate for minors, but The Snarkster has heard worse in the ivied halls.
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Paris Hilton Responds to John McCain's Ad...



ObamaTheBlackJFK
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The Snarkster actually likes Ms. Hilton's energy plan.

Could it be that both presidential candidates have been outsmarted by a pigtailed blond known more for what's between her legs and not her ears?

Keith Olbermann, a comedian?

Uh, The Snarkster thinks NOT.

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More John Edwards: The Snarkster is No Conservative, But...

*
...These guys have nailed it. Actually, Mr. "Family Values" John Edwards been "nailing" Rielle Hunter on a regular basis.



linkypizzark says,

Former Democratic presidential candidate John Edwards on [July 25, 2008]admitted to an extramarital affair while his wife was battling cancer. He denied fathering the woman's daughter Frances Quinn Hunter.

Of course this is all old news as the national enquirer hunted him down and caught him red-handed a couple of weeks ago. Many of the scenes from this video are from his webisode 1 which Rielle Hunter produced and filmed while he was having an affair with her. We now learn he is paying her hush money $15,000 per month. The baby's name is Frances Quinn Hunter. Oh, btw, Edwards won the father of the year award just 9 months ago!
At least with Bill Clinton, he knew he was a dog and didn't pretend otherwise.

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BTW, John Edwards calls in the Cheat Team:



barelypolitical:
Voices (all) by Mark Douglas. Edited by Michael Stevens.

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Friday, August 8, 2008

The Hunting of the Snark (Lewis Carroll, 1832-1898): Table of Contents

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Preface

Fit the First - The Landing

Fit the Second - The Bellman's Speech

Fit the Third - The Baker's Tale

Fit the Fourth - The Hunting

Fit the Fifth - The Beaver's Lesson

Fit the Sixth - The Barrister's Dream

Fit the Seventh - The Banker's Fate

Fit the Eighth - The Vanishing

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"Fit the Eighth, The Vanishing": The Hunting of the Snark (Lewis Carroll, 1832-1898)

*

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An Agony in 8 Fits (Fit 8)


They sought it with thimbles, they sought it with care;
They pursued it with forks and hope;
They threatened its life with a railway-share;
They charmed it with smiles and soap.

They shuddered to think that the chase might fail,
And the Beaver, excited at last,
Went bounding along on the tip of its tail,
For the daylight was nearly past.

"There is Thingumbob shouting!" the Bellman said,
"He is shouting like mad, only hark!
He is waving his hands, he is wagging his head,
He has certainly found a Snark!"

They gazed in delight, while the Butcher exclaimed
"He was always a desperate wag!"
They beheld him--their Baker--their hero unnamed--
On the top of a neighboring crag.

Erect and sublime, for one moment of time.
In the next, that wild figure they saw
(As if stung by a spasm) plunge into a chasm,
While they waited and listened in awe.

"It's a Snark!" was the sound that first came to their ears,
And seemed almost too good to be true.
Then followed a torrent of laughter and cheers:
Then the ominous words "It's a Boo-"


Then, silence. Some fancied they heard in the air
A weary and wandering sigh
Then sounded like "-jum!" but the others declare
It was only a breeze that went by.

They hunted till darkness came on, but they found
Not a button, or feather, or mark,
By which they could tell that they stood on the ground
Where the Baker had met with the Snark.

In the midst of the word he was trying to say,
In the midst of his laughter and glee,
He had softly and suddenly vanished away---
For the Snark *was* a Boojum, you see.

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"Fit the Seventh, The Banker's Fate": The Hunting of the Snark (Lewis Carroll, 1832-1898)

*

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An Agony in 8 Fits (Fit 7)


They sought it with thimbles, they sought it with care;
They pursued it with forks and hope;
They threatened its life with a railway-share;
They charmed it with smiles and soap.

And the Banker, inspired with a courage so new
It was matter for general remark,
Rushed madly ahead and was lost to their view
In his zeal to discover the Snark

But while he was seeking with thimbles and care,
A Bandersnatch swiftly drew nigh
And grabbed at the Banker, who shrieked in despair,
For he knew it was useless to fly.

He offered large discount--he offered a check
(Drawn "to bearer") for seven-pounds-ten:
But the Bandersnatch merely extended its neck
And grabbed at the Banker again.

Without rest or pause--while those frumious jaws
Went savagely snapping around-
He skipped and he hopped, and he floundered and flopped,
Till fainting he fell to the ground.

The Bandersnatch fled as the others appeared
Led on by that fear-stricken yell:
And the Bellman remarked "It is just as I feared!"
And solemnly tolled on his bell.

He was black in the face, and they scarcely could trace
The least likeness to what he had been:
While so great was his fright that his waistcoat turned white-
A wonderful thing to be seen!

To the horror of all who were present that day.
He uprose in full evening dress,
And with senseless grimaces endeavored to say
What his tongue could no longer express.

Down he sank in a chair--ran his hands through his hair--
And chanted in mimsiest tones
Words whose utter inanity proved his insanity,
While he rattled a couple of bones.

"Leave him here to his fate--it is getting so late!"
The Bellman exclaimed in a fright.
"We have lost half the day. Any further delay,
And we sha'nt catch a Snark before night!"

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"Fit the Sixth, The Barrister's Dream": The Hunting of the Snark (Lewis Carroll, 1832-1898)

*

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An Agony in 8 Fits (Fit 6)


They sought it with thimbles, they sought it with care;
They pursued it with forks and hope;
They threatened its life with a railway-share;
They charmed it with smiles and soap.

But the Barrister, weary of proving in vain
That the Beaver's lace-making was wrong,
Fell asleep, and in dreams saw the creature quite plain
That his fancy had dwelt on so long.

He dreamed that he stood in a shadowy Court,
Where the Snark, with a glass in its eye,
Dressed in gown, bands, and wig, was defending a pig
On the charge of deserting its sty.

The Witnesses proved, without error or flaw,
That the sty was deserted when found:
And the Judge kept explaining the state of the law
In a soft under-current of sound.

The indictment had never been clearly expressed,
And it seemed that the Snark had begun,
And had spoken three hours, before any one guessed
What the pig was supposed to have done.

The Jury had each formed a different view
(Long before the indictment was read),
And they all spoke at once, so that none of them knew
One word that the others had said.


"You must know ---" said the Judge: but the Snark exclaimed "Fudge!"
That statute is obsolete quite!
Let me tell you, my friends, the whole question depends
On an ancient manorial right.

"In the matter of Treason the pig would appear
To have aided, but scarcely abetted:
While the charge of Insolvency fails, it is clear,
If you grant the plea 'never indebted.'

"The fact of Desertion I will not dispute;
But its guilt, as I trust, is removed
(So far as related to the costs of this suit)
By the Alibi which has been proved.

"My poor client's fate now depends on you votes."
Here the speaker sat down in his place,
And directed the Judge to refer to his notes
And briefly to sum up the case.

But the Judge said he never had summed up before;
So the Snark undertook it instead,
And summed it so well that it came to far more
Than the Witnesses ever had said!

When the verdict was called for, the Jury declined,
As the word was so puzzling to spell;
But they ventured to hope that the Snark wouldn't mind
Undertaking that duty as well.

So the Snark found the verdict, although, as it owned,
It was spent with the toils of the day:
When it said the word "GUILTY!" the Jury all groaned,
And some of them fainted away.

Then the Snark pronounced sentence, the Judge being quite
Too nervous to utter a word:
When it rose to its feet, there was silence like night,
And the fall of a pin might be heard.

"Transportation for life" was the sentence it gave,
"And *then* to be fined forty pound."
The Jury all cheered, though the Judge said he feared
That the phrase was not legally sound.

But their wild exultation was suddenly checked
When the jailer informed them, with tears,
Such a sentence would have not the slightest effect,
As the pig had been dead for some years.

The Judge left the Court, looking deeply disgusted:
But the Snark, though a little aghast,
As the lawyer to whom the defense was entrusted,
Went bellowing on to the last.

Thus the Barrister dreamed, while the bellowing seemed
To grow every moment more clear:
Till he woke to the knell of a furious bell,
Which the Bellman rang close at his ear.

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