Sunday, September 28, 2008

Snarke du jour

Snarke du jour: Silliman’s Blurbocaust

I love the daily flamer’s snarky dish of Silliman’s blog:

“the most grizzly, hyperbolic, and truly absurd blurbage of our time.”

Blurbage”—definitely Snarkette syntax.

And some lovely sites on the flamer’s sidebar:

Hmmm. Got some reading to do there.

I like poetry snark’s bad attitude

“Let the sacred cow be milked…”

His lengthy sidebar of “Poets Snarked.”

“How many times have you lied about a poem?”

With some interesting links like:

Now there’s a snarky blog name!

Porky’s Garden of Eloquence

“So twice five miles of fertile ground/ With walls and towers were girdled round/ And there was Porky's Garden bright with sinuous rills/ Where blossomed many an incense-bearing tree/ And here were forests ancient as the hills/ Enfolding sunny spots of wankery.”

Porky opines eloquently:

“Porky’s Garden is a secret refuge in which scholars may engage in serene contemplation, reasonable discourse, and quiet fellowship. I've saved you a seat beneath the willow tree, friend.”

Continuing my online lacksidaisical labyrinthine schmoozing downward ever further into the louche depths of the lovely Snarkosphere, I delved into one of Porky’s exquistely decadent postings:

What does a ponce-say? I care not!!!

“The word "ponce" has a variety of meanings in the English-speaking cultures, and all of them are negative! In England, the term refers to an effete, decadent man, preoccupied with fashion and lacking in the wholesome vigour that is becoming to a male of the species.”

Naturally such “Blurbage” caught my ogling Eyeball right away—it was me!!!

“On the so called "Emerald-Isle" (decadent as it already is), the Irish use the term to refer to a procureror of prostitutes. And on the Isle of Man it is synonymous with vanity, buggery, and a "camp" that has naught to do with the hearty outdoorsmanship of sleeping under the stars!”

What excellent nuanced verbiage I said to myself.

“In all of the above cases, the word "ponce" is monosyllabic and intoned with a vitriol reserved for acrimonious profanity. Yet according to my PBS affiliate here in Chicago, the word is now pronounced as "pon-say." And, moreover, not only is it used upon the public airwaves supported by taxation of the electorate, but it is THE VERY NAME of the host of the daily television newsprogramme "Chicago Tonight."

“Each evening at 7pm, Phil Ponce purveys and proffers a decadent, liberal newsprogram, intended to sway leftwards the hearts and minds of the solidly-conservative Chicagoan. His agenda is, obviously, as dark and crafty as his tactics are! Just as he intends to create a normative attitude toward THE SCANDAL THAT IS HIS VERY SURNAME, so too does he intend to engender normative attitudes toward bigamy, sodomy, and hemlines that terminate above-the-knee!”

I suddenly realized that Mr. Pon-Say was my Snark Personae!!!

I’d call myself Porky Ponce!!!

Snarkette Newscaster Extraordinaire!!!

Viva Snarke-News TV!!!

I’d slip into his feckless journalistic mode— in my new Snarke blog!!!

Whenever it was time to pervert the citizenry of the Snarkosphere with my brand of snarky reportage—I’d slop it on Porky Ponce thick & juicy.
Like Janet Palin—thick and moosey!!!

Already my snarky Porky Ponce mind was pondering the piquant possibilities of Snarke du jour journalism…

And snarky scandal!!!

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