The House of Mirth

“A novel of tremendous snarkery”—The New York Times

"Lily Bart is an airhead and I could maintain no interest in her."--Bart

“Speaking of airheads, my dear, it takes one to know one.” said Crappy Cornelia. Naturally I was shocked, simply shocked. But then, after all, Crappy Cornelia was named after the illustrious short story by Henry James. Except, of course, my Crappy Cornelia spelled her name with two “l’s” rather than with one like the Master. “Really, my dear, I said,” adding a little bit more juice to my hot toddy. After all it was dreary Monday, the dreary week had just begun and I had little to look forward to other than discussing The House of Mirth with a few online friends. Crappy Cornelia was a great fan of Novels of Manners—her favorite writers being Madame Wharton and Miss James. Her attitude was that manners were manners—and the same slobs, social climbers, back-stabbers, gossip-queens, male chauvinistic pigs, disreputable characters, blackmailers back then in Wharton’s novels were alive and well in American society today. “Wharton knew what she was talking about,” Crappy Cornelia was fond of saying. “Nothing’s really changed since then—if anything society has got even more crappy and snarky.” Edith Wharton stood out as the ultimate Snarkette Queen for Crappy Cornelia. Wharton had weathered the scorn and bad reviews garnered by The House of Mirth to go on and become the first woman writer to win a Pulitzer Prize. Wharton continued, with Henry James’ encouragement and encouragement, to zero in on nineteenth-century East Coast American upper class society which she knew like the palm or is it the back of one’s palm. You know, the thing you slap people in the face with at parties and during divorces and illicit tacky affairs. Crappy Cornela had all the first editions—it was almost like she had sucked up the snarky spirit of both Wharton and James and let her fingers do the communing with their dearly beloved snarky spirits. They seemed like normal hands—but the fingers did look rather wicked. Wicked, knowing and doomed to dish... “Funny,” Crappy Cornelia said. “This Bart character calls Lilly Bart an “airhead,” but my dear, I sense a rather stunning similarity not only with the same “Bart” names, but also with the same “airhead” vacuity.” Titter-titter, I said to myself. The idea of one Bart calling another Bart an airhead did sound rather, how should I say, somewhat vacuously airhead-esque. (Did I say that? I said to myself. Crappy Cornelia was a bad influence on me—but then so was The Portrait of a Lady and The Jolly Corner. Dear me, I never thought that... ) “After all,” Crappy Cornelia continued her rather risque rant, “The title of The House of Mirth comes from Ecclesiastes 7:4: “The heart of the wise is in the house of mourning; but the heart of fools is in the house of mirth.” I nodded knowingly—it was too early in the morning to start snarking. But then snarking was always on Crappy Cornelia’s mind. After all, Crappy Cornelia was a writer and author of several snarky novels such as Twice Told Snarky Tales, To Snark or Not to Snark as well as the NYTimes Bestseller guidebook to internet publishing: How to be a Snarky Online Writer: A Guide to the Snarkosphere and How to Survive Snarky Chat Groups.

No comments:

Post a Comment

So snark me!

Note: Only a member of this blog may post a comment.

Want Snark? Look Here!

1984 19th Century Literature 19th Century Poetry 2004 Election 2008 Election A Million Little Pieces Adolf Hitler Ads aerial hunting An Agony in 8 Fits An Agony in even more Fits Baby Quinn Bad poetry Bad Poetry Sites bailout Barack Obama Barack Obama Rules Barack Roll beat poetry Beijing Being Green Best American Poetry Bill Clinton Birthday Blaxploitation Bobby McFerrin boingboingtv browsers Campaign 2008 Car Czar cartoons Charles Wright Cheating Cherokee children Cindy McCain Classic Literature Classic Music cleave poetry CNN Cold War Songs comedy Comic compaign 2008 conspiracy theories Controversy cruise missile David Lehman Death Democratic Convention Democrats domaining Dr. Strangelove Ed Wood Edgar Allan Poe Election 2008 Election Night electrolytes Elvis Presley Ernie Kovacs Escape Ezra Pound Fail Safe fakery film Flying car Folktales George W. Bush Google Chrome GOP Gory films Hack domains Happy Face Hens high school films Hillary Clinton Holograms Home Movies household hacker Human rights humor Hunka Hunka Burning Love indiscretions infomercials Internet Jokes Internet Trolls Interview ipod Iraq irony mark Isaac Hayes Issac Hayes Jabberwocky James Frey Jen The Hen Jessica Yellin Jib Jab JibJab Jim Behrle Jim Morrison Joe Biden John Ashberry John Edwards John Kerry John McCain Jumping the snark Kama Sutra Keith Olbermann Kermit Lew Dite Lewis Carroll Libel lip-synching Mavericks Medium Cool Mental Insitution Michael Jackson Monster Movies Muppets Murder at Midnight Mushroom Clouds Music Video Napoleon XIV New Yorker newsflash nonsense poem Norway Nuclear Tests Nuclear Warhead Numa Numa Nursery Rhymes O-Zone Old Movies Olympics Onion and Gatorade Paris Hilton parody Paul Engle Plan 9 From Outer Space Po-biz poem Political Ads Political Pork Politics Psychological Testing pugetopolis puppets rap singer redneck poets Republican National Committee Republicans Rielle Hunter Riley Puckett Robert Louis Stevenson Roger Corman Sarah Palin satire seed poem Shaft Singing Canary Smog Snark as a verb Snark domains snark poetry snark research Snark Sailboat Snark Sites Snarkosphere soda bottle trick Spoof students T. S. Eliot Table of contents Ten Commandments of Bailout The Academy The Beatles The Bomb The Doors The Hens The Hunting of the Snark The Kingston Trio The Onion The Snark The Troll The Wicked Witch of the West They're Coming to Take Me Away ha ha Todd Palin Tributes Trolls Tuvok Updated Nursery Rhyme Vice President Candidate Vote Different Weird Al Yankovitch White wolf Wikipedia Wild Man Fischer William Wordsworth Wizard of Oz Writer's Weekly Yes we can YouTube