Showing posts with label Vice President Candidate. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Vice President Candidate. Show all posts

A Turvey-Topsy World Where a Trojan Moose Heads for the Bridge to Nowhere

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Pork
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(Apologies to William B. Rands, 1823-1882, updated by The Snarkster)

Now the Chipmunk courts the Moose,

--------And the Elephant on the Fly;

Now Math is built on slip'pry lies;

--------Two plus two is always five;

If Lady Viper becomes the master,

--------Earmarks to kill the People's Pig,

The Bridge to Nowhere a dire disaster?

--------No worries: deny, deny, deny;


The Trojan Moose conceals her weapons

--------From a crowd of six-point Bucks;

If First Gentleman shot the Lady's rump,

--------The world would be downside-up!

If any or all of these blunders

--------Should ever come about,

We should not consider them wonders;

--------Hung we would be--inside, up, and out.


Chorus:



Oink-oink, poor Pig,

--------Have you any pork?

Yes, Ma'am, a bag-full,

--------Speed, Moose, speed!

Underfoot, a thousand more dead.

--------Cut, cut the Porcine's hide,

Out jumped the money-pot:

--------John, Big John!

Cross-hack, cross-hack,

--------Slit, slit and spin the lies--

The belly finally opened:

--------Out leaped Polar Bear, snout a-fire!

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The Bridge to Nowhere (Video uploaded to YouTube in August 2006)



AFPFoundation says,
After visiting 27 states and dozens of pork-barrel earmarks from Vermont to San Diego and Florida to Wyoming, the Ending Earmarks Express has now visted the granddaddy of all pork-barrel earmarks... the infamous Bridge to Nowhere in Ketchikan, Alaska. As you'll see in the accompanying video we shot on the ferry between Ketchikan and tiny Gravina Island in a remote section of southeastern Alaska, there's really no need to spend $223 million federal taxpayer dollars on a bridge longer than the Golden Gate and taller than the Brooklyn Bridge.

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"Sarah Palin: A Trojan Moose Concealing Four More Years of George Bush"

By Arianna Huffington (Huffngton Post)


"Did Sarah Palin wrongfully push to have her ex-brother-in law fired? Was she really against the "Bridge to Nowhere?" Did she really sell Alaska's plane on eBay, or just list it on eBay? Did she actually have any substantial duties commanding the Alaska National Guard?

The correct answer to all these questions is: who cares? Which isn't to say these aren't valid questions, or that Palin and the McCain camp aren't playing it fast, loose, and coy with each of them. The point is that Palin, and the circus she's brought to town, are simply a bountiful collection of small lies deliberately designed to distract the country from one big truth: the havoc that George Bush and the Republican Party have wrought, and that John McCain is committed to continuing.

Read the rest of this article.

See also about the polar bear controversy.

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Sarah Palin's Lies



LairdKeir
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(Thanks to Diana Manister for the Huffington Post and Polar Bear news clips and the inspiration for this post and poem.)
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Pugetopolis, Snarkmeister in Poetic Motion, Snarks in on Sarah Palin

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Poughkeepsie Postmodernism
—for John McCain & Sarah Palin

“Ever pick your feet in Poughkeepsie?”

—Gene “Popeye” Hackman,
The French Connection (1971)

Poughkeepsie rules—
GOP Postmodernism!!!
POMO pigs of the Oink!!!
Snark me baby!!!

Nothing’s more snarky—
than Intelligent Design.
It’s a hoity-toity version
of being a Bible Belt Bigot.

It’s a kitschy version of—
being Born Again Christian.
A smarmy way to get votes
But then Republicans have
No shame do they?

Putting a woman on the
Ticket—an Intelligent Design
Queen Bee—it’s so Lame.
Talk about Hollywood redux
And Elmer Gantry shame.

Pushing all the same old
Cynical Elephant buttons—
Pulling out the last gasps
Of Red State Rubes and
Milking the cash-cow dry.

Sarah Palin is Creationist—
She’s anti-choice and anti-
Abortionist plus she leads
Rabid Feminists for Life…

Sarah “Barracuda” Palin—
Known for her intense
Highschool basketball play
Is an Alaskan cold fish.

She hunts, she fishes—
She poses for Vogue
And Outdoor Life with
Dead deer and caribou…

She’s good with a gun—
Not very pro-life as far
As animals are concerned
But she won’t shoot fetus.

Sarah Palin is no angel—
No Geraldine Ferraro but
Then John McCain needs
His Vampire Maverick fix…

Going for the disgruntled
Hillary Clinton votes but
Then it’s a day late and a
Dollar short, as usual…

Poughkeepsie rules—
GOP Postmodernism!!!
POMO pigs of the Oink!!!
Snark me baby!!!

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Copyright 2008, Pugetopolis.

Posted with permission from poet.


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"Ever Pick Your Feet in Poughkeepsie?" From The French Connection



seanseven777
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The Snarkster Fears the Women's Movement AND The Economy Have Just Flashed Back 100 Years...

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Who is Sarah Palin? Here's some basic background:

  • She was elected Alaska's governor a little over a year and a half ago. Her previous office was mayor of Wasilla, a small town outside Anchorage. She has no foreign policy experience.

  • Palin is strongly anti-choice, opposing abortion even in the case of rape or incest.


  • She supported right-wing extremist Pat Buchanan for president in 2000.


  • Palin thinks creationism should be taught in public schools.


  • She doesn't think humans are the cause of climate change.


  • She's solidly in line with John McCain's "Big Oil first" energy policy. She's pushed hard for more oil drilling and says renewables won't be ready for years. She also sued the Bush administration for listing polar bears as an endangered species—she was worried it would interfere with more oil drilling in Alaska.
How closely did John McCain vet this choice? He met Sarah Palin once at a meeting. They spoke a second time, last Sunday, when he called her about being vice-president. Then he offered her the position.

From a MoveOn.org email


This is a joke, a huge "gotcha," right?

The Snarkster hopes so.

Also be aware that someone close to Sarah Palin may have been tampering with her Wikipedia article.

More


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What Happens When You Put a Beauty Queen in Front of a Microphone



theohreallyfactororg
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Meet NRA Glamor Girl, Gun Totin' GOP Veep Candidate Sarah Palin...

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Alaska Governor and John McCain Running Mate Sarah Palin and Friends
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"Happiness is a Warm Gun," The Beatles



josueharrison

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Let's Get Literary Or Emily Dickinson (1830-1836) Weighs in From the Afterlife 'cos, Gosh Darn, This Loaded Gun Poem FITS!

My Life had stood -- a Loaded Gun --
In Corners -- till a Day
The Owner passed -- identified --
And carried Me away --

And now We roam in Sovereign Woods --
And now We hunt the Doe --
And every time I speak for Him --
The Mountains straight reply --

And do I smile, such cordial light
Upon the Valley glow --
It is as a Vesuvian face
Had let its pleasure through --

And when at Night -- Our good Day done --
I guard My Master's Head --
'Tis better than the Eider-Duck's
Deep Pillow -- to have shared --

To foe of His -- I'm deadly foe --
None stir the second time --
On whom I lay a Yellow Eye --
Or an emphatic Thumb --

Though I than He -- may longer live
He longer must -- than I --
For I have but the power to kill,
Without -- the power to die --

Watch Snark.me For A Brand-new Modern Poem Dedicated to Gov. Palin!!!

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PaulFVillarreal
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Lurple says,

KTUU news piece by Bill McAllister on bloggers and the Sarah Palin for VP movement. Interview with Les Kinsolving, Steve Maloney, Fred Barnes, and Sarah Palin. Air date 8-24-07

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The Snarkster hopes she's a better shot than our current veep.

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